


Restart. - {y.kh × l.mh}

by smoshyphantrash



Series: Escape... Restart... [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Drama, Family Drama, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insanity, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mentioned Kim Taehyung | V, Murder Mystery, Other, Prison, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-05-18 15:45:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14855600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash
Summary: Kihyun finally escaped Taehyung. He was free. That is, until he was faced with captivity. There's not much he can do except press the restart button.| Sequel to Escape. - {y.kh × k.th} |STARTED: June 5th, 2018ENDED: --





	1. one chance

"I guess I can't hear you," Hyungwon said. "That just leaves me more time to talk." I was panicking, of course I wasn't fucking talking. "You and Minhyuk are going to give Jihyun to me and I will rehome her until this bullshit is figured out. First she's taken from an insane suicidal man, next she's placed with insane murderous men."

Minhyuk saw the rage in my eyes as I inhaled. "He is not," I began. "Fucking insane. He's not the first single, heartbroken father in this fucking world and of you think that makes him completely insane, then you're in the wrong fucking business, Mr. Chae Hyungwon." Minhyuk grabbed my hand, squeezing it softly to calm me down.

Hyungwon just sighed. "I'm gonna give you right now to explain to me what the hell is going on. If you tell me now, if Changkyun is lying, you won't face any charges." Tears started streaming down my face. I was not an awful person for killing an abuser. I wasn't. The way I see it, with all that Changkyun told me, I put him out of his misery.

"There was a suicide note," I said. "He wrote it himself. He killed himself. All that I said was that I didn't care that he was dead." There was a pause.

Minhyuk left the room, taking the sleeping Jihyun into his room and shutting tne door. "He was your lover, why wouldn't you all of a sudden care that he died?" Hyungwon asked.

I just shook my head, not ready to tell him what happened. "What I tell you," I said. "I tell Wonho. Quite frankly, he deserves to know and should know."

That rose about twenty different red flags for Hyungwon and I heard it in his voice. "The fuck is that?" He asked. "That means something happened to Jihyun... Kihyun, what the actual fuck did he do to h-" I hung up. I refused to tell him before I told Wonho. He was out of the hospital by now. He was in his own home. But that was the tricky part 

"Is it time?" Minhyuk asked.

I nodded. "It is," I said. "But, how do we tell him without sending him back over the edge?"

Minhyuk shrugged, pulling me into a hug. "God only knows," he sighed. My phone rang with a text message notification.

I pulled out my phone and read it out loud. "I will be rehoming Jihyun. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I will come by later today, I assume you're living with Minhyuk now. Spend a quality day with her. It's the last you'll have for quite a while. And that's not a threat, that's a promise." I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I tried to breathe. It only became gasping and shallow as I tried to move past it. 

"Hey," Minhyuk took my phone out of my hand and held onto me.

I finally lost my mind. It finally happened. I screamed an ear piercing scream, hitting at Minhyuk to let me go. "Don't touch me!" I yelled, fighting to get out of his hug. "Please! I-I'm sorry!" Minhyuk let go of me as I began to cry even harder, hyperventilating and falling into a panic attack.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked, soothingly. "Shh, I love you... You're safe."

I covered my ears, shaking my head and curling up into my own lap. "No you don't... You don't love me. You can't love me so you won't love me. You love him," I cried. "You love him, not me. So go be with him, not me." I was shaking extremely and I didn't know what to do.

Minhyuk kneeled in front of me. I only knew because the sound of his voice got closer to me. "No," he said. "I'm not Taehyung. Tae's gone, baby..." I looked up to see Minhyuk bit his lip. "You..."

My face fell as he stopped speaking. "I what?" I asked. "What'd I do? Oh God," Minhyuk grabbed my hands, holding them.

"Squeeze," he said. I did so as I cried, letting all the nervous energy leave me. "You found him dead last night... Changkyun was with you and showed that he wasn't just having sex with him to hurt you. He loved Taehyung too. You just came back from talking to him and Jooheon. He explained things about Taehyung, things only he knew. It proved he was loved more. I only know this much, you texted me on your way home. Okay? You didn't do anything." I nodded. "Look at me," he said, holding my face in his hands. "Promise me you won't think it's your fault?" I nodded, sniffling a bit. "Good..."

I looked at my phone, it was like seven in the morning. "So... What do we tell Wonho when we don't show up with his baby?" I asked.

Minhyuk sighed, "We take her to him for about an hour as a part of spending one last day with her. After she's had a full day. Then we come back here and wait for Hyungwon. Okay?" I nodded again, taking deep breaths.

"God," I sighed. "I cannot believe one mistake turning into all of this."

Minhyuk furrowed his eyebrows. "What mistake?" He asked.

I looked at my hand, realizing I still had on the watch he basically forced me to accept. "Falling in love with him." 

We took Jihyun to do a lot of her favorite things, bought her a new stuffed bunny. She had a great day. When we showed up to her house, she got so excited. "Am I going home?" She asked. I sighed, knowing she was far from it.

"We came to see Daddy," Minhyuk said getting her out of the car. "You wanna go see Daddy?" She nodded her head quickly as we walked up to the door. "Go ahead and knock," Minhyuk said.

Wonho opened the door and a huge smile spread across his face. "Oh my God!" Jihyun jumped in his arms as he bent down to hug her. "Hi, baby," he laughed. "I missed you!" It hurt to see the evidence that he didn't know what was happening. That Jihyun didn't know what was happening.

They spent an hour together, like planned. Then, we headed back home to wait for Hyungwon. But we promised Wonho we'd be back. "Okay, sweetheart," Minhyuk said, kneeling down to her level. "Hyungwon is going to take you somewhere. Be on your best behavior, okay? You'll be back, it won't be long." At this point Jihyun just accepted her changes. She was a little kid, she didn't need to do that. I gave her a kiss and hug before secluding myself to Minhyuk's room.

When Hyungwon arrived, I came back out. "Jihyun?" Hyungwon asked. "Think you can get in the car by yourself?" She nodded and went on her way. As soon as she closed her door, Hyungwon laid into me. "Alright, what the fuck happened to her?" He asked. "You're facing a fucking murder charge that I am trying to keep off of you. I've got you the best lawyer I can find for you. What did Taehyung do to Jihyun?"

I went to speak but Minhyuk spoke for me. "What we say to you, we say to Wonho." He said. "Quit while you're ahead, Hyungwon. You'll know." He said 

Hyungwon simply rolled his eyes before leaving. After he drove off, Minhyuk looked at me. "Let's go tell Wonho," I sighed.

Like we promised, we were back at his door that night. "Hey," he said. "Come on in. Is someone watching Jihyun?" He asked.

I nodded, "Hyungwon is."

Wonho's happy demeanor quickly faded into a worried one. "Why would he be watching her?" He gripped his pant leg, trying to stay calm.

I bit my lip. "I've got something to tell you." As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw the fear rush to his eyes. One question and one question only rushing to his mind: What happened to my baby?


	2. two mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun tells Wonho what happened. Minhyuk breaks some bad news to Kihyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of child (sexual) abuse

"Cut to the fucking chase, Kihyun," Wonho said, grabbing onto his chair. "What do you have to say?"

Minhyuk walked to him. "Sit down first..." He said.

Wonho shook his head. "The hell I will. He's got something to say about my baby," he said, starting to get angry. "And he's stalling." I swallowed hard, body shaking. 

I shook my head, "I-I'm not stalling..." I sighed, looking down.

"Then. Fucking..." Wonho raised his face at me, getting close to me. "Tell me!" He screamed.

That's when I lashed out at him. "Then fucking sit down, goddamn it!" I yelled. Wonho looked at me, slowly sitting down on the couch. I walked in front of him, sighing softly. Minhyuk sat down next to him, patting his knee. "Minhyuk and I have been trying really hard to take care of Jihyun. When one of us was down for the count, sick or having a mental breakdown, the other took her."

Wonho scowled at me. "I'm mentally unstable, but you two have some shit too and I'm the one who can't take care of my child?" He asked.

"That was Hyungwon's call," I said. "Not mine. Not Minhyuk's. I say you should have her now. But he is the social worker..." I started fidgeting a bit more. "A-Anyway... One day, I... He beat me the first day I had Jihyun. Hyungwon thought we were dating and called him my boyfriend. And that pissed Taehyung off. After he tortured me, I asked him to just end me. I was that far gone. Taehyung called Minhyuk to come and get both of us, but the next day, I insisted on coming home...." I looked at Minhyuk, not knowing if he should've taken over or not. "Later on, Jihyun told me that when I was asleep that night, the second night, she was having a nightmare and went to wake me up. He didn't want her to wake me up and he grabbed her roughly to keep her out of our room. And... That he wanted to play a game with her," I mumbled.

Wonho's eyes widened. "Wait," he said, sitting up. "Y-You're telling me that... That your fucking boyfriend, molested my daughter?" When I didn't answer, he became even angrier. I didn't know how to. Especially when that wasn't all he did. "Oh my fucking God... Did he r-" Wonho stood up, glaring at me. "I can't fucking believe this." He grabbed onto me, slamming me into the wall behind me. "I trusted you!" He screamed. "I trusted you to protect her! A-And I was deemed an unfit parent, when you weren't any fucking better!" I didn't fight him and hissed out in pain as Minhyuk came to pry him off of me. Wonho roughly shrugged him off. "I told you I'd fucking kill him if he laid a hand on either of you and he did both. Where the fuck is this bastard?"

I looked him in the eyes, trying to appease him just a little bit. "He's... He's dead." Wonho's face fell. That seemed to anger him. "He died yesterday," I said. Wonho's grip on me loosened as he backed up.

"O-Oh my God," he mumbled. "Oh my God, my baby." I frowned a bit, slowly grabbing his arm. "She's three years old! She's not supposed to know anything about this!" Wonho turned around and punched the wall, hitting a stud. He screamed out and grabbed his hand.

I stumbled back a little bit, not being able to watch him lose his mind again. Minhyuk wrapped his arms around my waist, keeping me upright. "Wonho..." I said. "Hyungwon doesn't know yet... But the man Taehyung was cheating on me with, Changkyun? We both showed up at the mansion and I helped him tell his boyfriend about Tae this morning... He told Hyungwon he thinks I killed him. So, Hyungwon took Jihyun. He's rehoming her."

Wonho's eyes widened again. "Why the fuck didn't he give her back to me?!" He shook his head, crying hard. "I've made... Two huge mistakes in my life... One causing the other." Wonho looked at me. "Trying to kill myself... And leaving my daughter with you." I nodded, not attempting to defend myself. "That's my fucking daughter and now she's fucking gone!" He yelled.

Minhyuk shook his head. "No," he said. "Jihyun isn't gone..." I took his arms away from my waist.

"Yes she is!" Wonho and I said simultaneously. "The girl she was before will not be the same. She'll always remember him. She's already having nightmares, Minhyuk." I looked at Wonho, walking to him. "And I, am so immensely sorry and guilty for that. I'm sorry that I caused this to happen to her. For not being the guardian she needed, Hyungwon should've skipped me. I'm so sorry. And I'll hurt with you. You can hate me forever. But we're going to get your baby back home." Wonho looked at me, the heartbreak finally showing. He grabbed at his chest, crying hard. I hugged him tightly as he fell to his knees.

"Seohyun," he whimpered. "Baby, I'm sorry I failed her." I shook my head, running mt fingers through his hair. I had no words to make it better. No words would make it better.

Minhyuk glanced at the coffee table. "Wonho? What's this court letter to you about?" He asked.

Wonho looked up, sniffling. "I've been subpeonaed. I'm not getting Jihyun back yet." He shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't read it through."

Minhyuk opened the letter up and read it. "Lee Hoseok, you've been subpeonaed as a witness to case number 931122... Oh my God," I looked up at Minhyuk. "Kihyun, he took it to court already!" I rolled my eyes, leaning against the wall.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I groaned. "I'm not... I didn't... Oh my fucking God!" Wonho sat up, wiping his tears.

Minhyuk came over. "Give it to me," Wonho sighed. He read over it. "I don't know shit, what am I supposed to say?" He asked. "Hi, my brother-in-law was getting his fucking ass beat by multi-millionaire Kim Taehyung?" I sighed softly.

I just wanted it to be done. My phone rang again. Hyungwon. I answered his call, "Hello?"

Hyungwon sighed. "He sent out subpoenas today. Already. What did you do to Taehyung?" He asked.

"Nothing! He killed himself." I yelled.

I could hear Hyungwon rolling his eyes. "For what?"

Wonho spoke up. "He fucked with my little girl. The guilt was probably too much. I want her back." He demanded.

"After this trial is over," Hyungwon said. "Kihyun, you should've told me. Jihyun fell asleep on the ride to her foster home. I had to pull over because of a nightmare. I figured it out." I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "Be ready for court next week. Thursday. You better prepare like hell. A lawyer will come to you and Minhyuk tomorrow morning."

He hung up, leaving us in an awkward silence. "I'm fucked," I said, closing my eyes. "Even in death, he's fucking me over." Minhyuk sat down with us on the floor and held me as I held Wonho. How did everything get so fucked up?


	3. three weeks

"Kihyun," Minhyuk said, throwing a pillow at me. "Get up. Get dressed. Look semi decent." I groaned, turning over on my side. "I'm serious, we have an hour and a half before the lawyer comes. It's the law firm Shownu operates, but he won't be on our case. At least he can vouch to the lawyer for us, if need be." After he went on that spiel, I sat up, trying to wake up a bit more.

I stood up, stretching. "Who's the lawyer?"

Minhyuk shrugged. "Not sure," he sighed. "It's a Kim, but he's not related to Taehyung." Minhyuk finished straightening up the room.

"Minhyuk?" I asked. He looked at me before leaving the room. "I-I didn't do this, right?" His face fell a bit. It told me that there was a possibility I did, a possibility that I didn't. Either way, I didn't remember. All I knew was Taehyung was dead.

Minhyuk shook his head, walking toward me. "No," He said. "Taehyung killed himself. You didn't do it." He kissed my forehead before brushing my hair out of my face. I nodded, kissing his cheek.

I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom to change. Looking in the mirror, trying to grasp the reality of this situation. I honestly just struggled with wondering what Wonho was doing. I was scared for his safety. So, I called him. "What?" Wonho answered.

"Oh, good..." I sighed. "I was worried about you." 

Wonho scoffed a bit. "How the fuck do you think I am?" He asked. "Huh? My daughter is going through one of the worst things in her short life ever and I can't help her at all. I broke promises to her, to Seohyun, even you. So how the fuck do you think I'm doing?" I fell silent, nodding a bit. Wonho sighed. "I'm sorry, I-I haven't slept... I sat in her room all night. Called Hyungwon earlier. I wanted to talk to him about visiting rights." The more he talked, the worse I felt.

I bit my lip, looking at myself in the mirror. I was suddenly caught off guard by a question I didn't want to discuss. "Do you have a while to listen?" I asked.

"Yeah," Wonho said. "You're my brother in law and I need to know what he did to you. You're like my younger brother, Kihyun, never forget that." I nodded, sighing softly.

I put the phone on speaker and sat it down on the counter so I could get changed. "Everything was okay for a few weeks. He was a dream. And he hadn't broken my heart like Yoongi did. Matter of fact, he was fixing it."

I'd never forget the night I met Kim Taehyung. Or the months leading up to it. 

"I can't do this anymore," Yoongi mumbled, sipping on his water.

I furrowed my eyebrows, not knowing exactly what he was talking about. "It's kind of noisy in this club," I said. "Do you want to go home? We can always have fun at home."

Yoongi shook his head. "It's not the club. It's this." He continued avoiding the words.

I scoffed slightly. "This can be so many things, Yoongi. What can't you do?" I asked.

"Us," Yoongi admitted. "I can't continue doing this."

I was taken aback, setting my keys down on the bar next to the bartender. I knew I was about to drown myself in alcohol. "What did I do?" I asked.

Yoongi sighed. "I just can't handle you. We've been friends for so long, but I forced myself to love you romantically, just because you loved me." He laid it all out on the line.

My mouth fell open slightly. "We've been together for almost a fucking year, Yoongi. Don't you think you should've told me something before I got invested in you?"

Yoongi laughed a bit. "You were already there. Kihyun, just respect my decision." I was respecting it, I just needed answers. Within the next few minutes, someone walked in and covered Yoongi's eyes from behind him. A girl. 

She laughed so sweetly. "Hey, babe!" She smiled. 

I lost it. "Are you fucking kidding me, Yoongi?" I asked.

"Oh my God," Yoongi groaned. "Do you want me to say it?"

I groaned. "Fucking please!" He was lying through everything.

"You're my friend, Kihyun. And I'm not attracted to you. I may be pansexual, but I prefer females. And Sohye and I reconnected about three months ago." There it was. The whole truth.

I nodded, ordering a drink from the bartender. "Bye," I said. 

Sohye was embarrassed. "I-I'm so sorry, Kihyun... I never knew."

I shrugged. "It's whatever. How's your sister?" I asked. Sohye, Yoongi and I went back a few years. Freshman year in college, we were the best of friends, including Jooheon, Shownu, Minhyuk and Changkyun. We all fell off around junior year. Suddenly, Yoongi and Sohye made up and were in love.

"Uh, fine... Thank you for asking." She nodded. "Ready to go?" She asked Yoongi meekly. I felt bad for her honestly.

Yoongi got up and left, not looking back. For a few months, I went to the bar, got shitfaced and always came home with someone. I never did anything with them, I was too drunk to and they were all pretty respectful. It all stopped the night I met Taehyung.

I carried on doing the same thing, getting hammered and then falling victim to whoever cared to advance me. "Hey, whoa," Taehyung said as I hopped off the barstool and stumbled back into him. "Wow, someone likes to party hard, yeah?" Taehyung took my keys from the bartender and tipped him before dragging me out of the bar. 

I flashed back to looking at myself in the mirror. "Kihyun?" Wonho asked. I couldn't answer. I stared into my own eyes and glimpses of blood and whispers of raspy, labored breathing filled my senses.

"Please, Ki- oh fuck..." The sounds of retching and splatting on the floor. The blood. I began breathing as hard as the dying man.

I shook my head, "Stop," I mumbled. "Stop it." His gasping for air left ne struggling to breathe myself. "Save him, damn it.... Save him."

Another voice. "You will never, ever put your hands on me like that ever again." The voice of my own. "You broke her. And now? Now, I break you, you son of a bitch." More glimpses of a body, bleeding from the facial orafices invaded my conscious mind.

"Kihyun?" Minhyuk opened the door, stepping in. "Wonho just called me and told me to check on you... You were talking to him and you stopped."

I looked at him quickly before looking down at the floor. I screamed out as I saw blood cover the floor. "No," I yelled. "No, save him!" I cried, standing back.

Minhyuk grabbed my arm. "Shh," he whispered. "Shh, save who, baby?" I looked behind him and gasped.

He was there. "You'll pay eventually, Kihyun. I'm not completely dead yet." I shook my head, tears pouring.

"No, he's gone! You're gone!" I yelled. "Leave me the fuck alone!" 

Minhyuk finally got my attention fully and shook me into reality. "Babe, what's going on?" He asked, holding onto me.

I whimpered, the tears failing to cease. "He's still here. I can't get away..." Minhyuk hushed me, helping me leave the bathroom.

"You've been here for a while," he said. "Mr. Kim got caught up in another case. He sent over a packet for us. This should take three weeks before it's all over."

I nodded, biting my lip. I jumped as his voice rang out in my ears. "Three more weeks to fucking ruin you," he said. A chill ran down my spine.

I looked up at Minhyuk, crying hard. "Fucking help me, Minhyuk..." I whispered. "Please."


	4. four times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun's haunted by memories as he and Minhyuk prepare to meet with their lawyer.

Minhyuk furrowed his eyebrows, sitting next to me. "Help you with what, baby?" He asked.

I heard Taehyung speak to me. "Yeah, help you with what, baby?"

I shook my head. "He won't leave me alone." I hugged myself.

"I'll make your life a living hell, Yoo Kihyun," Taehyung said. I looked up and he was behind Minhyuk. "What if I just..." Minhyuk shivered as I saw Taehyung's hand reach around to grab his throat.

I screamed, throwing a pillow toward him, accidentally hitting Minhyuk in the face. "Hey!" He yelled, coming toward me. "Kihyun, Taehyung's dead."

Fear rattled through my body as Taehyung appeared in my face. "N-No he's right in front of me! He's trying to hurt you, Minhyuk. Get the fuck away from him!" My screams refused to cease at this point.

Taehyung chuckled. "You're damn right, I am." I started bawling my eyes out.

"Kihyun?" Minhyuk asked. I shook my head, grabbing my hair, rocking forward. Why was this happening to me? "Kihyun," Minhyuk climbed into bed with me, holding me tightly. "Holy shit. You're shaking so much..." You could hear the concern and pity in his voice. Minhyuk's hand ran through my hair, soothing me.

After a few minutes, I looked up to see that "Taehyung" was gone. I took a deep breath before coughing ridiculously.

"Oh shit..." I whined, hitting Minhyuk's thigh. He leaned forward and grabbed the trashcan. I coughed a few more times before throwing up into the can.

Minhyuk sighed, running his fingers through my hair. "Kihyun, do you remember that Taehyung died?" He asked.

I looked up at him and nodded. "I don't remember how, but he was right there." Minhyuk shushed me as I cried endlessly.

Taehyung's presence stayed persistent with me throughout the day. I fell down the stairs and heard his laugh. Minhyuk damn near cut his hand when he was cooking and I saw his smirk. I ripped Minhyuk's suit on accident and I felt his hands on me. Minhyuk shaved his neck and left a small slit behind and I saw his body. He wouldn't leave me alone.

A few hours later, Minhyuk and I cleaned the house and got ready for our lawyer. And I felt so much fucking anxiety coming my way. I started fiddling with my fingers. "Hey, Kihyun?" Minhyuk took my hand. "Let me do the talking, okay? If you're asked something specifically, do not break. Do you understand me? You could be facing life here, baby..." I nodded and subsequently, the doorbell rang.

As the door opened, we laid eyes on a handsome man. "Greetings, gentlemen." He reached out and shook our hands. "My name is Kim Minseok, I'm here with Son's Legal Firm. Let's get down to business, shall we?"

Minhyuk smiled, "Why, yes of course." We guided him to the living room.

Minseok opened up his briefcase and began from the beginning of it all. How I met Taehyung, how we became a thing... Things I knew I would shut down over. I wasn't the same man I was a year ago and I think Minhyuk knew that. He took my hand, holding it tightly. "How'd you meet Mr. Kim, Kihyun?" Minseok asked, taking out his pad of paper.

I bit my lip, taking a deep breath. "My best friend, my boyfriend had broken up with me one night on a date at the club downtown. And he walked off with someone he once hated. After that, I frequented that club, going there almost every night. I just drank away the pain and attempted to fuck it away. But, everyone I brought home either realized that I couldn't take it, since I was drunk or was equally as drunk and I caved, telling them to leave. One night I just got completely blackout drunk. Tae took me back home, watched over me. Didn't leave until the next morning, after he knew I was okay. That began to win my heart. I called him when I needed something. And eventually, he just moved me in with him. Once I lost my virginity to him, it all went downhill."

Minseok nodded, "And what's your relationship here? Where did this start?" He asked.

Minhyuk decided to speak up. "We've fought the love for such a long time. We've known each other since we were babies. I've always been here for Kihyun. When he came out to his mom, he came out when his mother held resentment for his dad..." I froze up a bit. I hadn't even thought of that. I came out to my mom while she still hated my dad.

"Uhm, what does that mean, if you don't mind my asking?" Minseok asked.

Minhyuk looked at me and I nodded, letting him speak. "His father is gay. And he either tried to fight it, or he used Kihyun's mother. And when he came out to his mom, she threw red wine in my face, causing a bad allergic reaction." Minhyuk held my hand. "I told him I loved him that night. And I've never stopped loving him, even when Taehyung treated him wrong."

Minseok nodded. "I take that to mean that Mr. Kim was abusive, right?" I nodded, anxiety starting to show through my hand drumming against my leg. "Now, you know, a jury is gonna hear that and be split, whether you did it or not. If you did it, if you didn't. And if you did, whether it was justified to save yourself or out of hatred for him. He abused you and he was with someone else, yes?" I nodded, sighing softly. "Did you do it, Kihyun? You need to be honest with me so that I can help you."

I looked up at Minhyuk before looking back to Minseok. "I don't know," I mumbled softly.

"Wh-What do you mean by, you don't know, Kihyun?" He asked.

I bit my lip. "We had a fight and I came here, starting to move in. And I went to the mansion and he was dead on the bedroom floor. With a note." Minseok wrote down our plan and then he left soon after. As soon as he left, I began to cry. "Minhyuk, I fucked up didn't I? I'm going to jail, I killed him didn't I? I'm gonna lose you and Jihyun, aren't I?" 

Minhyuk shook his head. "Shhh, hey... It's okay. I got you. You won't go to jail. Go wash up and take a nap." I nodded going off into the bedroom into the bathroom. I was so nervous. I got in the shower and just cried until I fell asleep on the floor.


	5. five years.

I woke up around six o'clock, feeling better than I had earlier. But something still didn't feel right. Minhyuk was at his computer across the room, scrolling away at work. As I sat up, the bed squeaked signalling that I was awake. Minhyuk turned around, smiling softly. "Hey baby." He got up, sitting next to me. He gave me a small kiss on the cheek.

I smiled at him, taking his hand. "Help me find my mom," I blurted out, taking a deep breath. Minhyuk's eyes widened a bit.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

I nodded a bit, "She hated my dad when I came out. You said it yourself. I was too close to it to even think about it. Maybe all she said was out of hatred for him." Minhyuk shrugged at me. He didn't think it was a good idea. "Five years, Minhyuk. It's been five years. I need to see her."

I grabbed my phone, calling Wonho. "Hello?" He asked, sniffling a bit.

"I don't want you to be crying, but you better have been crying." I said.

I heard Wonho take a deep sigh. "Nosebleed," he mumbled.

I chuckled a bit. "And why's that?" I asked. "If you're snorting again..."

"I'm not," He defended. "Swear to God. Anyway. What do you want?" Wonho sniffled a bit more. It was irritating me a bit.

I bit my lip, contemplating this. Fuck it. Let's just do it. "Where's my mother?" I asked.

Wonho coughed, caught offguard. "What? Why?"

I sighed a bit. "It's been five years you know... I-I wanna know where she's at." It took him a bit of convincing, but he finally told me. She was in a new house, near my childhood home.

Minhyuk reluctantly drove me over to the new house. Anxiety rushed through my body. "You can stay here..." I mumbled, taking Minhyuk's hand as he parked into the driveway.

"You thought I was gonna stay here?" He asked, taking off his seat belt. "She can break an entire bottle of red wine on my head, I don't care. You're not gonna be by yourself with her. I don't trust her."

I didn't even have the energy to fight him. As I walked up to her front door, I wanted to turn away. But I was here now, ringing her doorbell. I waited a minute, looking down at my feet, leaning into Minhyuk. The door opened and I heard my mother's gasp. Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked up at her. "Kihyun?" She asked.

I nodded, sniffling and trying to keep the tears at bay. "Hi, Eomma..." I whispered, running into her arms. She held me tightly, something I never expected ever again.

"Oh my God, my baby..." She mumbled, running her hands through my hair. "Come in, you too Minhyuk, please." We walked in and sat on her couch. "I thought you were dead... You didn't show up after the funeral." 

I bit my lip. "I was almost there plenty of times, Eomma." I saw her face fall. "I-I know you probably don't care to hear about my relationships... But Yoongi? Remember him?" She nodded softly. "We dated for a while, and then he left me. And I spiraled down. Then, I met a man who turned out to be Kim Taehyung." Her eyes widened. "Yeah, that one. And we got together. We dated for a few months before everything went to shit." I looked at Minhyuk and I think he knew what I was asking. He nodded. I grabbed my shirt, lifting it. My mother gasped, looking at my body. "I learned how to cook well," I mumbled.

"No, no, no..." My mother cried, pulling me into her arms again. "Baby no, shh." 

My tears never ceased. "Eomma, do you hate me?" I asked. 

My mother pulled my face to hers, kissing my forehead. "I could never hate you, Kihyun. You're my son." She said, wiping my tears. "Just please, please tell me you're away from Taehyung. Please."

Minhyuk spoke up for me. "He's dead. Taehyung killed himself... We'd been taking care of Jihyun, Wonho was going through some things. And Taehyung's guilty conscience ran over him." He said. His words seemed rehearsed.

"What happened to Jihyun and Wonho?" My mother lost so many years of information.

I shrugged. "That's a whole other story. Eomma... Why'd you abandon me?" I asked. "Every day, I just wanted to be back here with you. But I was convinced you hated me, that I wasn't your son anymore. Every time Taehyung beat.my ass, I begged God to save me one way or another and I wanted you to save me. Why'd you leave me in the first place? Are you just so overcome by emotions that you don't care that I'm pansexual? That I'm with Minhyuk now? What's going on?"

My mother took a deep breath. "I hated your father. And I took it out on you. And I'm so sorry. If I would've held you a little tighter, if I would've kept you home... Maybe you wouldn't have been hurt by people and I'm so sorry. I will regret that forever, Kihyun." Her tears were non-stop.

I found it within myself to forgive her that night. As we got home, another question of mine burned through me. "Minhyuk," I yelled, turning to him. "Tell me right fucking now, did I kill Taehyung."

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. "No, you didn't! Stop thinking you killed him. He killed himself." He was lying. His face fell in a certain way when he lied.

"Tell me! I know you're lying to me, Minhyuk, come on!" I was tired of being broken and clueless. "I killed Kim Taehyung, didn't I? Tell me how I did it."

Minhyuk shook his head. "I cannot tell you how you did it when you did not fucking do it!" I groaned, going to his guest room. "Where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm sleeping alone tonight."


End file.
